I wish...

[bluegargantua]

...Dell shipped a machine with 200 gigs of meticulously organized porn striped to a three disk RAID....

*sigh*
Tom

Comments

[woodwardiocom.livejournal.com]

-I prefer to store my porn on a vast array of machines attached to the Internet, and use Google Image search when I need to find something.

[bluegargantua]

Oh my dream machine uses Google Desktop to locate my specific daily preferences. And peer-to-peer storage like that tends to generate duplicates (or worse, invalid files) far too often. And many of those computers will charge for data transmission. By buying in bulk, up front, I can use economies of scale to get higher-quality porn, matching my specific tastes, for cheap.

Tom

[dbang.livejournal.com]

That works for you? I can never find exactly what I'm looking for.

[woodwardiocom.livejournal.com]

-Well, occasionally I have to order in.

[solipsistnation.livejournal.com]

Eh, it would be Dell porn, though, and woefully generic or a pathetic and misguided attempt to be hip while entirely missing the point of whatever particular fetish, kink, or subculture to which they were trying to endear themselves. It would be full of things labelled as, say, alternaporn, but consisting entirely of tall, blonde, Playboy-model-type girlies with nary a short darkhaired Creepy Girl to be seen.

[bluegargantua]

Any preference on the manufacturer of your porn machine? I gotta think that while the Mac iPorn is very sexy, it's also gif after gif of Robert Palmer models.

Tom

[solipsistnation.livejournal.com]

Shuttle. Compact, stylish, but kind of weird.

[bluegargantua]

And you can keep it right by (or under) your bed.

Handy!
Tom

[purple-dj.livejournal.com]

We were sitting around here at work once, trying to discuess ways to add value to our drives and distinguish ourselves in the market. The idea was suggested of pre-loading the drives with high quality porn at the factory.

While we all agreed that this would probably increase drive sales, there was no way we were going to get this pushed through management.

[dirkcjelli.livejournal.com]

I'm sure the "X drive" would go over well in the european market...

(which could stomach such things, me thinks)

[mpgalvin.livejournal.com]

it would sell a bit, and then get torrented along with everything else.

[qedrakmar.livejournal.com]

They do. It's the "pr0ntiplex PR690"

[fnoxib.livejournal.com]

gotta love a man who knows exactly what he wants.