bluegargantua

My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is: His Exalted Highness Duke Blue Gargantua the Undefeated of Deep Throcking Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title

...and I think we all know what "Deep Throcking" is don't we?

Undefeated and still Champion...
Tom

Hi,

So people got all worked up that Clinton got a blowjob from his intern. And yeah, giving blowjobs to your married boss is pretty much a huge no-no unless there's a lot of negotiation involving all affected parties.

Understandable.

But what you have to understand is that when you take up residence at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, when you are the leader of the free world who also has the power to destroy all of it. You are a complete bad-ass and women are helpless to resist you.

It looks like George has finally realized this:

( Cut to shield your virgin eyes )

"Hey baby, I'm really good at keepin' my finger on the button, if you know what I mean..."
Tom

Hi,

So last night, I went down to Kendall Sq. to see Shortbus, a movie about sex and relationships and New York City. It's by the same guy who did "Headwig and the Angry Inch".

It is officially unrated because honest, non-violent sex (straight and gay) would land it an NC-17 rating whereas if it was simply about a guy who went around pushing chainsaws into people, it'd be R-rated.

So, yes, it's a very sex positive film. It's also a very sex honest film. It's not the rarefied fantasy world of porn. The actors are all very attractive, but also not strictly porn-star perfect (for porn film definitions of perfect). The sex takes place in the context of relationships (even when it's sex with someone not in the relationship). All in all, it handles itself very, very well.

There are several stories about relationships in crisis that weave back and forth across each other. The loom that holds them together is Shortbus -- one part cabaret, one part salon, one part orgy. There's the marital counselor who's own marriage is on the rocks, the gay couple who are trying to fix their problems by opening up the relationship ("monogamy is for straight people!"), and there's the dominatrix who's longest-standing relationship is with one of her johns. Plus a few other complications along the way. It all makes for some great after-movie dinner conversations.

If there's any flaw with the movie, it's that people who live in/come from New York will probably find a deeper movie than outsiders looking in. There are a few scenes that seem to be speaking directly to New Yorkers. That said, this is still an interesting film whose daring choices should be seen and appreciated.

later
Tom

Hi,

"OK, so after playing skee-ball tonight we've got 40 tickets."

"What can we get for 40 tickets?"

*peruses display* "Not much...we can't even get a deck of playing cards..."

"We could save them for the next time we come here."

"I don't come here frequently enough to make that worthwhile. Besides, I don't want to devote my life to collecting enough skee-ball tickets to purchase a novelty oversized calculator or a mountain bike. No, let's just get cheap crap and be happy."

"So...what can we get?"

"Well, we can get a paddleball toy and a set of plastic vampire fangs."

"OK."

"You should get the Vampire fangs -- I like vampire girls."

"And you get the paddleball toy?"

"Yes, I'll be the hapless Englishman out in the dead of night playing paddleball and you can be the hot vampire girl who bites me on the neck."

*laugh* "I like this plan."

[faux British accent] "Good heavens! I hope a chap can just persue his innocent paddleball hobby in peace out here in Transylvania! I'd be ever so put out if a she-vampire were to fall upon me and bite my neck..."

*bite*

"Oh dear..."

Yup. That's what gets me hot. I'm the paddleball-playing Englishman and she's a vampire...who can't really enunciate with those stupid fangs in. mmmm...hot.

Power Dynamics? Goofy. Definately goofy.
Tom

Hey,

So I just finished reading King Dork by Frank Portman. It had been getting a lot of pre-release buzz and so I picked it up.

The buzz is quite well-justified. It's a Young Adult book with no sci-fi, military or zeppelins, but I quite enjoyed it anyway. The book basically covers the life of one Tom "King Dork" Henderson. He goes to the prototypical American High School Hell and is among the lowest of the low. His only friend, Sam, is the guy who was ahead of him alphabetically in grade school. Life is a bleak, unending wasteland of misery and humiliation (the way it always is in high school). The only bright spot is the band that he and Sam are going to form just as soon as they settle on a band name, stage names, Album cover and title (oh, and also get some guitars and a drummer...and maybe learn how to play).

Then Tom finds a copy of Catcher in the Rye that was owned by his father, who died under mysterious circumstances when Tom was eight. Within the book is a coded message and that sends Tom off on a quest to find out more about his father. Things get decidedly strange from there.

Although the world of San Francisco high schools in the late 90's is quite different than my high school experience, my inner loser really appreciated the book and empathized with Tom (yeah, yeah, the same name helps a lot). Everyone and everything comes in for a lot of teen-age cynicism. There's a glossary of terms (as Tom defines them) and a list of the numerous bands Tom and Sam come up with during the book (and there are a lot), both of which are fun treats at the end. The only thing missing is a complete list of the books Tom's dad read as a teenager that Tom re-reads.

But yeah, the book is funny, has a decided teenage outlook that's really captured well and it's something I think a lot of kids would find more relevant today than, say Catcher in the Rye.

( minor spoilers and some thoughts on sex )

later
Tom

Hi,

You may be surprised to know that I'm a perspicacious observer of the Boston Polyamory scene and that I am often able to discern the hot, new trends among that crowd. Although my authority in this area is completely unrecognized, it cannot be denied because what if I'm just like Cassandra of Greek mythology?

So by now you're asking: "Tom, what's the hot, new trend in the Boston Poly scene? What hip, cool thing should we be doing if we want to be the center of attention and sour grapes gossip?"

Very simple: Start up a relationship with someone from Alabama.

I know, I know, you think Alabama you start hearing the banjos from Deliverance, but soon that redneck chic will be so very *very* in. Right now it's mostly non-natives who hope to get out from Alabama, but as the Poly Agenda program of "embrace and extend" kicks in, we'll be drawing in more and more native Alabamians. Yes, the South has a troubled past, but with a little positive reinforcement we can all once agian bask in some Southern Hospitality. Plus, those O'Hara accents will be all the rage this summer.

You heard it here first
Tom

Hi,

A bit of an odd request today...

Does anyone out there have goat-leggings...in my size?

I ask because there's this party coming up and I'd like to go as a Satyr (especially as I'm given to understand that there will be a number of nymphs there). But this requires the shaggy legs and I don't happen to have anything like that in my closet.

I also need horns, but in my circle of friends that's a much easier request.

later
Tom

Heh,

I just had the best idea for a bad sex story.

Guy answers a personal ad, there's some smoking chat and what not. Then they meet up and he discovers that she's his boss from work.


Oooooh awkward!
Tom

I have come to a decision.

Leading your partner/sub/whatever around by a leash in public is Not Right. An exception may be made for the Fetish Flea, or a Fetish club or other Fetish-appropriate venue. But in general public? No. No, that's Not Right.

I won't automatically hate you or avoid you at all costs or be uncivil to you, but I will think just a little less of you.

Sure, you've got a D/s lifestyle and you want to celebrate it and be proud. To you I say huzzah and go to.

However, person on a leash where people don't normally "walk their pet" isn't cool because:

a.) There is a bit of a safety issue here. You've got a long dangling lead locked around your neck. That's just a bad accident waiting to happen.

b.) I don't think this is a real positive image for kinky sex in general. Yeah, in private I lead you around by a leash and make you eat from a doggie dish and what-have-you because this is our negotiated fantasy. This isn't how you live your life, it's how you get your rocks off. Yes, yes, hardcore D/s people may have a life like this, but even then, there's a deep understanding and appreciation of what's going on. There are nuances and underlying meanings that aren't generally appeciated by the public at large. Either the leashee looks pathetic, the leasher looks cruel, or worse, it plays into the worst kinds of misogyny (even if the leashee is a man).

It is with some approval I note that this behavior is generally seen in fairly young couples and one hopes that they'll eventually wise up and leave their bedroom toys at home in the bedroom.

For the record, I have no problem with people wearing obviously fetishistic collars in public. It's only the actual leash that seems in really poor taste to me.

later
Tom