8 Fathom, yo

[bluegargantua]

Hi,

Mostly for larksdream who inspired this last night:

I like baleens and I can not lie
You other whales can't deny
When a cow strains krill through a bony grill
And gives a ripply smile
You get sprung!

Of course, that naturally lead to...

All right
Stop whatcha doin'
'cause I'm about to ruin
the whale watchin' cruise that ya used to.
I look funny
but yo I'm makin' money see
so yo world I hope you're ready for me.
Now gather round
I'm the new cetacean in town
And my sound's ultrasonic and it gets around.
I eat up all the krill on the continental shelf
So just let me introduce myself.
My name is Humpty, pronounced with an Umpty.
Yo Greenpeace, oh how I like to hump thee.
And all the whalers in the top ten -- please allow me to bump thee.
I'm breachin' tall, y'all.
And just like Humpty Dumpty
You're going to fall when the stereos pump me.
I like to sing,
My harmony's funky
I'm massive, I like my plankton lumpy.
I'm sick wit dis, straight whaler mack
but sometimes I get ridiculous
I'll switch up my crooning with a loud static hiss.
hey yo fat cow, c'mere -- are ya ticklish?
Yeah, I called ya fat.
Look at me, I'm gargantuan
It never stopped me from gettin mammalian
I'm a freak
I like the cows with the boom
I once got busy at the height of a typhoon
I'm crazy.
Allow me to amaze thee.
They say I'm ugly but it just don't faze me.
I'm still gettin' in the cow's pants
and I even got my own dance.

The Humpback Dance is your chance to do the hump
Do the Humpback Hump, come on and do the Humpback Hump
Do the Humpback Hump, just watch me to the Humpback Hump
Do ya know what I'm doin', doin' the Humpback Hump.

M.C. Spouts-a-lot
Tom