Even my subconscious rebels

[bluegargantua]

Hi,

So last night I went in for a sleep study. I don't snore or anything, but my wife is getting tired of poking me in the middle of the night so I'll start breathing again. So, just to make her feel better, I set up this study.

The technician wired me up and said, "So we're just going to monitor you tonight, but if you go past 60 sleep disruptions in a minute, I'll put you on this CPAP device. Anything less than that, we'll just monitor."

Yeah, sure, whatever. That sounds pretty serious and I think even I'd notice if that were happening to me.

So in the middle of the night, she comes in, wakes me up, and says "hey, we're gonna put this CPAP on you now."

Huh.

So now, aside from all the wires stuck to my head, face, upper chest and legs, I've got this nose thing on my face. This is only slightly better than the nasal airway monitor I had sitting in my nostrils up until this point, but I'm lying there thinking, "This is ridiculous. How am I supposed to sleep with this stupid thing? It makes my nose feel all constricted and suffocate-y."

And I sit there, nose twitching until the technician comes back in the morning and starts unhooking me. And I say that maybe I need a CPAP, but this thing just isn't going to cut it. I didn't sleep a wink. It's too small, the air is warm, and I really could stand to have a drink of water since my throat is all dry.

It's at this point that I actually wake up and realize I've been dreaming. I roll over and go back to sleep.

The upshot is that I'll probably be going back in the next week or two to get fitted for a CPAP of my very own. I can't really tell if I slept better with or without it and probably won't until I've been using it at home for awhile. I'm also a little annoyed that, barring some medical advance, I'll be plugging myself in most nights for the rest of my life. On the other hand, it's probably cheaper than marrying someone so they can poke me every night. :)

later
Tom

Comments

[melebeth]

But you've already married someone! That should factor into the expense calculation ;)

[bluegargantua]

This is mostly for people considering marrying someone solely for the benefit having someone around to monitor them in their sleep.


later
Tom

[shiffer.livejournal.com]

Marriage is not a cost-efficient solution to anything, generally speaking.

[doctordidj.livejournal.com]

I thought nightly poking was one of the main benefits of marriage :)

[bluegargantua]

If you're not awake or awakened by the poking, it doesn't really count.

later
Tom

[badseed1980.livejournal.com]

Ooh, your very own Darth Vader mask! :P Hope it works. Better sleep will probably improve how good you feel on a daily basis immeasurably.

[bluegargantua]

I know, right? And when your mouth falls open, there's this weird sensation of air rushing out of your mouth even though you aren't actually exhaling. weird, funny, you can make those weird mouth noises

later
Tom

[asciikitty.livejournal.com]

and, bonus, better sleep for me! maybe.

[badseed1980.livejournal.com]

Yay! Yeah, I've slept with some snorers before. When it's bad, it's bad. Fortunately, I'm used to sleeping with earplugs. :)

[asciikitty.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry that it turned out that you need a cpap, but i'm really glad you're getting it now and not in 20 years...

I hope it works for you

[drwex]

I also can't imagine how I'd sleep with that. Not to mention that my nose is so stuffed up so much of the year that it'd be mostly futile trying to get air up there anyway.

Re: I hope it works for you

[velvetdragon64.livejournal.com]

If you are "stuffed up most of the year" have you considered getting allergy tested? And maybe go on meds for that? Maybe something as simple as Claratin every day will help with both the stuffiness and maybe the sleep apnea?

Re: I hope it works for you

[drwex]

I appreciate the good intentions behind this comment, but it's pretty funny. I've been allergy tested extensively and I'm allergic to... um, more or less the entire universe. Trees, grasses, dust, mold, pollen, animals, and more.

I have and take several varieties of antihistamines. I take enough of them that I need to be careful not to take them too often because my body builds up tolerance for them very quickly. I was on allergy shots in the past from about age 12 to about age 19. I have hypoallergenic wraps on my pillows and mattress, and no pets. Et cetera.

So, yeah :)

Re: I hope it works for you

[velvetdragon64.livejournal.com]

That many allergies! UGH! Sorry.
My son has had to deal with allergies, too. But mostly it is avoiding the food he is allergic to. Once we found out what it was-took 3 years from when he was 3-6 yrs old. He does have dog/cat allergies, but Claratin works well for him. But he doesn't need it every day.

[foxtown.livejournal.com]

Everytime I read CPAP, I though it said CRAP, and I giggled a little inside.

Hope everything goes well!

[da-popa.livejournal.com]

Not sure if this helps, but if you find that the CPAP dries out your throat too much, I had a friend who found something years ago to help.

He had to get the part from Australia as in the U.S., a CPAP is considered a Medical Device so it cannot be altered without clinical trials (and since it's a generic device, there's no real financial incentive for companies to conduct any). If it gets bad enough, I can try to get in contact with him for details.

Hope it works out!

Correction

[da-popa.livejournal.com]

Now that I've had a chance to sleep on it, I realized I confused two work-related CPAP stories:

1. The patients who often complained of dry throat would use distilled water (which is apparently better for the CPAP materials as well).

2. What my co-worker at the time actually had to order from overseas was just a little clip to better hold the CPAP tubes in place (and we were amazed that this extra clip counted as a medical device due to the above reasons).

Sorry for the confusion.