A decision
Aug. 22nd, 2005 09:03 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bluegargantuaI have come to a decision.
Leading your partner/sub/whatever around by a leash in public is Not Right. An exception may be made for the Fetish Flea, or a Fetish club or other Fetish-appropriate venue. But in general public? No. No, that's Not Right.
I won't automatically hate you or avoid you at all costs or be uncivil to you, but I will think just a little less of you.
Sure, you've got a D/s lifestyle and you want to celebrate it and be proud. To you I say huzzah and go to.
However, person on a leash where people don't normally "walk their pet" isn't cool because:
a.) There is a bit of a safety issue here. You've got a long dangling lead locked around your neck. That's just a bad accident waiting to happen.
b.) I don't think this is a real positive image for kinky sex in general. Yeah, in private I lead you around by a leash and make you eat from a doggie dish and what-have-you because this is our negotiated fantasy. This isn't how you live your life, it's how you get your rocks off. Yes, yes, hardcore D/s people may have a life like this, but even then, there's a deep understanding and appreciation of what's going on. There are nuances and underlying meanings that aren't generally appeciated by the public at large. Either the leashee looks pathetic, the leasher looks cruel, or worse, it plays into the worst kinds of misogyny (even if the leashee is a man).
It is with some approval I note that this behavior is generally seen in fairly young couples and one hopes that they'll eventually wise up and leave their bedroom toys at home in the bedroom.
For the record, I have no problem with people wearing obviously fetishistic collars in public. It's only the actual leash that seems in really poor taste to me.
later
Tom
Leading your partner/sub/whatever around by a leash in public is Not Right. An exception may be made for the Fetish Flea, or a Fetish club or other Fetish-appropriate venue. But in general public? No. No, that's Not Right.
I won't automatically hate you or avoid you at all costs or be uncivil to you, but I will think just a little less of you.
Sure, you've got a D/s lifestyle and you want to celebrate it and be proud. To you I say huzzah and go to.
However, person on a leash where people don't normally "walk their pet" isn't cool because:
a.) There is a bit of a safety issue here. You've got a long dangling lead locked around your neck. That's just a bad accident waiting to happen.
b.) I don't think this is a real positive image for kinky sex in general. Yeah, in private I lead you around by a leash and make you eat from a doggie dish and what-have-you because this is our negotiated fantasy. This isn't how you live your life, it's how you get your rocks off. Yes, yes, hardcore D/s people may have a life like this, but even then, there's a deep understanding and appreciation of what's going on. There are nuances and underlying meanings that aren't generally appeciated by the public at large. Either the leashee looks pathetic, the leasher looks cruel, or worse, it plays into the worst kinds of misogyny (even if the leashee is a man).
It is with some approval I note that this behavior is generally seen in fairly young couples and one hopes that they'll eventually wise up and leave their bedroom toys at home in the bedroom.
For the record, I have no problem with people wearing obviously fetishistic collars in public. It's only the actual leash that seems in really poor taste to me.
later
Tom
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no subject
Date: 2005-08-24 11:56 pm (UTC)There's an adage about one's right to swing arms ends where another's right not to get whacked begins. I'd say the leash thing crosses that line. There's an implicit compromise in a civilized society regarding what's ok to do in public. Doesn't mean the public doesn't approve of you, it means the public doesn't want to watch.