A decision
Aug. 22nd, 2005 09:03 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bluegargantuaI have come to a decision.
Leading your partner/sub/whatever around by a leash in public is Not Right. An exception may be made for the Fetish Flea, or a Fetish club or other Fetish-appropriate venue. But in general public? No. No, that's Not Right.
I won't automatically hate you or avoid you at all costs or be uncivil to you, but I will think just a little less of you.
Sure, you've got a D/s lifestyle and you want to celebrate it and be proud. To you I say huzzah and go to.
However, person on a leash where people don't normally "walk their pet" isn't cool because:
a.) There is a bit of a safety issue here. You've got a long dangling lead locked around your neck. That's just a bad accident waiting to happen.
b.) I don't think this is a real positive image for kinky sex in general. Yeah, in private I lead you around by a leash and make you eat from a doggie dish and what-have-you because this is our negotiated fantasy. This isn't how you live your life, it's how you get your rocks off. Yes, yes, hardcore D/s people may have a life like this, but even then, there's a deep understanding and appreciation of what's going on. There are nuances and underlying meanings that aren't generally appeciated by the public at large. Either the leashee looks pathetic, the leasher looks cruel, or worse, it plays into the worst kinds of misogyny (even if the leashee is a man).
It is with some approval I note that this behavior is generally seen in fairly young couples and one hopes that they'll eventually wise up and leave their bedroom toys at home in the bedroom.
For the record, I have no problem with people wearing obviously fetishistic collars in public. It's only the actual leash that seems in really poor taste to me.
later
Tom
Leading your partner/sub/whatever around by a leash in public is Not Right. An exception may be made for the Fetish Flea, or a Fetish club or other Fetish-appropriate venue. But in general public? No. No, that's Not Right.
I won't automatically hate you or avoid you at all costs or be uncivil to you, but I will think just a little less of you.
Sure, you've got a D/s lifestyle and you want to celebrate it and be proud. To you I say huzzah and go to.
However, person on a leash where people don't normally "walk their pet" isn't cool because:
a.) There is a bit of a safety issue here. You've got a long dangling lead locked around your neck. That's just a bad accident waiting to happen.
b.) I don't think this is a real positive image for kinky sex in general. Yeah, in private I lead you around by a leash and make you eat from a doggie dish and what-have-you because this is our negotiated fantasy. This isn't how you live your life, it's how you get your rocks off. Yes, yes, hardcore D/s people may have a life like this, but even then, there's a deep understanding and appreciation of what's going on. There are nuances and underlying meanings that aren't generally appeciated by the public at large. Either the leashee looks pathetic, the leasher looks cruel, or worse, it plays into the worst kinds of misogyny (even if the leashee is a man).
It is with some approval I note that this behavior is generally seen in fairly young couples and one hopes that they'll eventually wise up and leave their bedroom toys at home in the bedroom.
For the record, I have no problem with people wearing obviously fetishistic collars in public. It's only the actual leash that seems in really poor taste to me.
later
Tom
no subject
Date: 2005-08-23 03:30 pm (UTC)However, I agree with you on the general principle that it's uncool to involve other people nonconsensually in your scenes. I'm similarly un-pleased about egregious PDAs whether hetero or homo. It's one thing for two guys to be walking hand-in-hand down the street or doing the cute cuddle-and-soft-kiss thing in line ahead of me. But the "slam her up against the wall and do mutual tonsillectomy?" - ew. Get a room. Tac-kay.
Cons I'm a little more mixed on - it's not exactly public space and there's a level of implied consent to out-of-the-ordinary behavior. It may be NMK but I'm more willing to tolerate stuff in con space that I would find distasteful on city streets. Gencon, in the ancient days when I attended, was explicitly and only for gaming. If that's still the case I'd tend to agree with you, blue. But at a general con like Arisia... not so much.
no subject
Date: 2005-08-23 05:25 pm (UTC)The convention center where GenCon happened was attached to the RCA dome where the Colts play.
It may interest you to know that on Saturday night, there was a Colts game. So the half-naked cat girls crossed paths with the blue-body-painted couch jocks. To the best of my knowledge no one was hurt, but it was quite the culture clash.
heh
Tom