Neither, if they wanted a man, they wouldn't be lesbians.
I know that's a really simplified version, but the subtleties confuse me a lot of the time and would just go right over my mom's head. I assume every relationship is a snowflake and the participants in the relationship decide who takes on what gender roles (or if they share/exchange it, or if a given gender role is even important to their relationship).
It would be nice for my mom if all lesbian relationships fell along a strict femme/dyke pairing that synced up to a female/male het relationship and that all gender roles were perfectly codified. I suppose I've seen so many combinations that I find it difficult to say anything definitive since I know no one label applies. I've given up easy certainty in favor of infinate possibilites, but that makes it hard to try and help people from the monoculture look outside the box.
Still, I hope I conveyed the general idea to my mom. At least I didn't say "the one currently wearing the strap-on". :)
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Date: 2010-07-31 04:32 am (UTC)Neither, if they wanted a man, they wouldn't be lesbians.
I know that's a really simplified version, but the subtleties confuse me a lot of the time and would just go right over my mom's head. I assume every relationship is a snowflake and the participants in the relationship decide who takes on what gender roles (or if they share/exchange it, or if a given gender role is even important to their relationship).
It would be nice for my mom if all lesbian relationships fell along a strict femme/dyke pairing that synced up to a female/male het relationship and that all gender roles were perfectly codified. I suppose I've seen so many combinations that I find it difficult to say anything definitive since I know no one label applies. I've given up easy certainty in favor of infinate possibilites, but that makes it hard to try and help people from the monoculture look outside the box.
Still, I hope I conveyed the general idea to my mom. At least I didn't say "the one currently wearing the strap-on". :)
later
Tom