Dear C#

Baby, why you got to be like this?

I wanted to get to know you better. I'd heard stuff, good stuff about you. Sure, there were a lot of trash-talking haters out there, but I was willing to look past all that. Certainly, you're the name on every job description's tongue so I knew I had to find out more about you and get some of that sharp, sharp lovin'.

So here I am, takin' a chance on you with a small project that was pretty much due yesterday. And I'll be the first to say "I'm in a rush" and Smoove Blue knows that you just can't rush the foreplay. So I'm expecting trouble.

But, baby, I needed an array. An array, baby, the simplest data structure there is. It's nothin' more complicated than a numbered list (that starts at 0 like a crazy mofo, but that's just a messed up math geek thing everyone does so I ain't blamin' you for that). And every other language I've ever seen pretty much says that if you want to get the 4th item in that array you just say arrayName[3] and there you go (3 cause it starts at 0 all mad-ass).

But you're a fussy little bitch. You want the size of your array declared up front. Well, baby, I'm pulling back results from a database query, I don't know how many results I'm getting back. I need a little something more dynamic. Well, you've got this ArrayList and a ListT (one for every Type of data), and those can grow as big as the tower case in my pants, so I think, "hey that's all right". But none of these arrays will let you just grab any item out of the array. No, you either go through the whole damn array or you have to know exactly which item in the array you want. Which doesn't do me a bit of good. What I want is the 4th item in the array. I don't know what it is, I don't want to have to loop through a million times to get it, just give me item #4 off the list!

Somehow, my buddy Joe helped me through all the hassles but baby...damn.

no love
Tom

p.s. Now if you could be a bit more like that ActionScript 3.0 -- there's a classy, classy lady who I can love all night long.

Dear C#

Baby, why you got to be like this?

I wanted to get to know you better. I'd heard stuff, good stuff about you. Sure, there were a lot of trash-talking haters out there, but I was willing to look past all that. Certainly, you're the name on every job description's tongue so I knew I had to find out more about you and get some of that sharp, sharp lovin'.

So here I am, takin' a chance on you with a small project that was pretty much due yesterday. And I'll be the first to say "I'm in a rush" and Smoove Blue knows that you just can't rush the foreplay. So I'm expecting trouble.

But, baby, I needed an array. An array, baby, the simplest data structure there is. It's nothin' more complicated than a numbered list (that starts at 0 like a crazy mofo, but that's just a messed up math geek thing everyone does so I ain't blamin' you for that). And every other language I've ever seen pretty much says that if you want to get the 4th item in that array you just say arrayName[3] and there you go (3 cause it starts at 0 all mad-ass).

But you're a fussy little bitch. You want the size of your array declared up front. Well, baby, I'm pulling back results from a database query, I don't know how many results I'm getting back. I need a little something more dynamic. Well, you've got this ArrayList and a ListT (one for every Type of data), and those can grow as big as the tower case in my pants, so I think, "hey that's all right". But none of these arrays will let you just grab any item out of the array. No, you either go through the whole damn array or you have to know exactly which item in the array you want. Which doesn't do me a bit of good. What I want is the 4th item in the array. I don't know what it is, I don't want to have to loop through a million times to get it, just give me item #4 off the list!

Somehow, my buddy Joe helped me through all the hassles but baby...damn.

no love
Tom

p.s. Now if you could be a bit more like that ActionScript 3.0 -- there's a classy, classy lady who I can love all night long.