bluegargantua: (Default)
[personal profile] bluegargantua
Hi,

So last night [livejournal.com profile] woodwardiocom and I were discussing Batman, as you do, and it was remarked upon that in most "origin of" Batman stories, you feel like Bruce spent a year, maybe a year and a half getting all ninja and badass and stuff. Things that take most people years to master, he picks up in a 4-year stint. Everything from throwing a boomerang, to crime scene investigation, Batman just soaks up knowledge like a sponge. Much like his utility belt, there's almost no skill that Batman isn't good at (if not actually highly proficient in).

So that got me to thinking...

"Holy Irwin Donenfeld, Batman! That gorilla is on the loose!"

"Music tames the savage beast, old chum! A few bars of the Bat-Concerto on the Bat-avarius will calm him down!"

*Quickly producing an ingenious folding Bat-avarius violin from his utility belt the Batman begins to play! The soothing classical melody of the Bat-Concerto calms the rampaging ape!*

---------------

Cause I figure that a rich kid like Bruce either learns the violin or the piano and despite the appearance of the Bat-Casio Keyboard in the early 80's, the Bat-avarius is still the better deal for utility belts.

This, of course, leads to all other sorts of potential Bat-instruments:


  • Bat-tar: For those Arena Rock Show villians
  • Bat-accordion: For Oktoberfest villians
  • Bat-uba: For Con men selling bogus band equipment to small naive Iowa towns
  • Bat-Hurdy-Gurdy: Good for monkeys
  • Bat-Turntable: For keepin' it real in the hoodz of Gotham, yo
  • Bat-Ocarina: When trapped in old-timey cartoons
  • Bat-pipes: For subduing Scottish villians...and just about everyone else


heh
Tom

Date: 2006-03-08 03:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dirkcjelli.livejournal.com
Well... he did obsessively train from like age 12 until say 22, and essentially had maximum human potential in terms of athleticism and intelligence...

But, on the other hand, is this the -least- believable thing in DC comics?

Date: 2006-03-08 06:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] qedrakmar.livejournal.com
Bat-ckenspiel: For playing with They Might Be Giants
Bat-monica: On skid row, down by the Bat-train-tracks...
Batimpani: For dramatic entrances

Date: 2006-03-08 07:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] woodwardiocom.livejournal.com
So last night woodwardiocom and I were discussing Batman, as you do

-As this post attests, I'm not sure anyone else discusses Batman quite like we do.

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