Ask Ms Manners -- LJ edition

[bluegargantua]

Dear LJ Ms. Manners:

A few weeks ago, I borrowed our neighbors lawn mower to mow my lawn (our push-mower buckled under the inhuman toughness of our grass). Last Sunday I borrowed it again. The mower ran out of gas, but the neighbor had a small gas can in his shed which I used to fill up and keep mowing.

When I returned it, I said, thanks so much and I had to put more gas in.

Now -- I am contemplating leaving them a thank you note that says "Hi, thanks for letting me use the lawn mower, sorry for using up your gas, here's $5 to cover it." (possibly worded with a bit more savoir faire, but that's the gist)

On the one hand, this seems appropriate. I used up some of his gas and I'm paying to replace it. We don't interact with our neighbors a huge amount and I don't want to be that annoying neighbor who always borrows stuff, but never seems grateful for it.

On the other hand, there seems something...crude about handing the guy a fiver. I can't explain why...maybe I feel it conveys a sense of "You're not a neighbor, you're just a lawn mower rental service" or something. It might be bound up in my anxiety that the neighbors think we're crazy and anti-social. They're right on both counts, but in neither case are we dangerously so.

On balance, I lean towards chipping in for gas, but if you, LJ reader had a not-frequently-interacted-with neighbor borrow your mower and then send you a thank you card with some gas money a couple days later...would that be weird or off-putting?

later
Tom

ETA: Yes, refilling would've been the thing to do, but I just wasn't able to at the time and the can is now behind locked shed doors so...oops. But the masses have spoken and it shall be a card, gas money, and three cookies (one for each of them). Thanks!

Comments

[jadia.livejournal.com]

I would find it sweet.

If you are worried about being gauche, you could buy some gas and give them the gas instead. Sometimes giving an object is seen as better than giving cash.

Or if there's something else you can give them, like, I dunno, cookies or flowers or something, as a "thank you" gesture? Maybe something related to the lawn mower.

[solipsistnation.livejournal.com]

Yeah, actual gas would mean you were leaving him where he was when you started, rather than providing extra value over just the gas you used (which would imply rental). Also cookies are always nice. (Unless they're diabetic/vegan/weirdos who just don't like cookies.)

[goldenoak.livejournal.com]

I don't think you'd ever be faulted for trying to reimburse the neighbor for gas you used while they loaned you their mower.

In a time-travel scenario, I'd say re-fill the mower or the gas can before returning the mower, in the spirit of "bring the car back with a full tank". As it is, I'd say yes, the thank you note and money would be appropriate. A wee thank-you gift to go with the note/fiver (loaf of bread, small plant, fresh-baked cookies, whatever) might take the edge off of the money issue. :)

[sben.livejournal.com]

$5 is fine.

$5 plus a thank-you gift (e.g. cookies), as was suggested, is nicer.

If I were your neighbor, nicest would be actually filling the gas can. I find it to be a bit of a pain in the butt to go out and fill it; my time is more valuable to me than the money.

If that's not feasible for whatever reason, the thank-you gift would ease things, in effect saying "sorry I couldn't fill your gas can, but I did something else that takes effort instead".

I'd want to lend my mower to someone who filled my gas can for me, and/or baked me cookies. I wouldn't mind having lent my mower to someone who paid for gas, but wouldn't want to do it very often.

[melebeth]

I second all of this.

[hawkhandsaw.livejournal.com]

Thirded, re-filling is best, but anything is good.

[desiringsubject.livejournal.com]

I agree. Gas money (or gas) and a nice cookie situation is totally the way to go. Especially if they've never borrowed stuff from you. I think that once the borrowing is two ways it goes a little differently. I.e. if they've already borrowed your cup of sugar than you don't need a special thank you for borrowing their cup of flour...

[spiritseeker.livejournal.com]

Bingo.

[asciikitty.livejournal.com]

maybe you can talk your wife into making some cookies or something, and then you can give them homemade cookies? i mean, maybe not, she's pretty mean.

[methanopyrus.livejournal.com]

Good resolution. I think given your neighborhood style, close houses and a little bit of sharing things, that showing gratitude will be much appreciated.