An Ode...

[bluegargantua]

asciikitty is a Goddess.
And even though I've said that a couple of times before.
And even though you may suspect that I say she's a Goddess because
I have to.
You would be wrong on both counts.

asciikitty is a Goddess.
And proofs of her divinity are constantly required
Because atheists and heathens
Just
Won't
Take
My
Word
For it.
(jerky stupid-faces!)

So behold!
I went to a bookstore over my lunchbreak.
I browsed amongst the tomes of knowledge yet purchased none.
I returned to my car for the drive back to work.
Once
Twice
Thrice
I turned the key.
But the car would not start.
And I said some rather rude things.

So I walked back to my office.
Agonizing over what could be wrong with my car.
Bad key?
Busted starter?
Broken alternator?
How the heck would I know?
But I suspected my magic key might have lost it's magic.
Luckily, I entrusted a spare to my Goddess.

Thus I called upon my Goddess.
"Come help me," I cried.
And lo, she dropped everything and rushed out to help me
(after getting her coffee, cause, you know, coffee)
But her key provided no relief from my miseries.
And I despaired
For now it would have to go to some random garage
To get looked at.

"I shall call triple-A and wait with the car."
Declared asciikitty who
If you'll recall
Is a Goddess
"and if the garage can fix it great and if not
I shall drive you about in my chariot."
And lo, she did.

And the triple-A guy was a minor deity.
Because he said "oh, it's your battery. It's dead."
And gave us a jump.
And though her duties were discharged, still asciikitty was a Goddess
For she drove to the battery place to get a new battery
And spent untold hours in the limbo of slow service
The knitting on her sweater increasing by rows and rows and rows.

But finally it was done.
And I had a car.
And I made it to game.
And I made it to work today.

So asciikitty is a Goddess.
And while I didn't get her a cookie
I did bring her an offering of super-dark chocolate truffles.
Which seemed to appease her.

later
Tom