Best Conversation of the Weekend

[bluegargantua]

"So honey, if we ever get married and settle down and have kids, is it OK if they get baptized?"

"HELL NO!"

"Well, see, my mom's threatened to baptize them herself in the kitchen sink if we don't do it."

"...."

This is going to be an interesting visit home...
Tom

Comments

[xauenmurph.livejournal.com]

My sister's mother-in-law did exactly that to her first son. My sister was pretty angry.

[asciikitty.livejournal.com]

i still think i'd prefer baptized in the kitchen sink to anything else your mom might approve of.

[asciikitty.livejournal.com]

i can see that.

[mhaille.livejournal.com]

My dad's oldest sister threatened to kidnap me and take me off to be baptized.
Obviously it didn't take.

[purly.livejournal.com]

little Toms???

o_0 !!!

[anotherjen.livejournal.com]

OMG, Tom, I am SO glad you and I didn't get serious. I mean, I think you're wonderful, but I left the ultra-conservative religious-fundamentalist mother-in-law behind me!! *shudder* Annie, ~~~~~strength and calm vibes~~~~~ to you.

[asciikitty.livejournal.com]

thank you.

'cause i'm so nervous...

[lindalee.livejournal.com]

I think you shouldn't be too nervous...I'm sure it will be fine.

How could she be anything but utterly charmed by you? :-)

[lindalee.livejournal.com]

Ew.

Sure, do whatever you want religiously for yourself, and I suppose for your own kids when they're young...but for someone else's kids? Ew.

[mhaille.livejournal.com]

I can understand her feelings. Pretty much everybody besides my parents (and therefore also my sister and I) is Very Catholic, and she truly believed that my parents were being negligent by not baptizing us in case we died as infants. (She had 10 kids, 7 of whom lived.)
I guess it depends on whether you truly believe that it's meaningless, and how much you want to allow a precedent of interfering.

[ssvanguard.livejournal.com]

'Little' Toms? Have you seen Tom lately? He'll be the only dad on the block with 4-foot tall 2-year olds.

And let's not even think about what the 14-hour labor will be like.

[timothy-tim.livejournal.com]

My parents headed this off by threatening to baptize me with Dew and give me a login name.

[asciikitty.livejournal.com]

hush...

i'm trying not to think about it.

[asciikitty.livejournal.com]

thanks!

:)

[woodwardiocom.livejournal.com]

-Y'know, I could probably arrange for "baptized by a woman priest who uses inclusive language and will custom-tailor a ceremony that's as respectful of your beliefs as possible". (Though, Jesus will probably still be mentioned at some point.)

[bluegargantua]

For the moment, I'm not particularly concerned. The baby thing is a ways off yet and while this would be a gross imposition of my mom's beliefs on our lives, I don't think getting water splashed on the kid is going to be the end of the world. Her intentions are certainly for the best if her actual implementation is a bit wonky.

For now, I can count on the passive-aggressive nature of Midwesterners. My mom will be charming to (and charmed by) Annie, and her concerns for the immortal souls of her grandchildren will pop up in phone conversations every now and again.

If Annie and I make it to getting married, the wedding alone will pretty much burn this bridge before we get to it.

later
Tom

[qedrakmar.livejournal.com]

"Oh, they'll be baptized... IN BLOOD!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAhaha... ha... ... ha ... ... ... ha. hmmm. What's wrong, Mom?"

[bluegargantua]

Oh no, you don't!

Women can't be ministers! It's in the bible!

(Actually, she probably doesn't care so much, but it's clearly not the Lutheran thing to do. And she seems perfectly happy with this gender division in her religion.)

No, at present, I think I'd rather she did the baptism in the sink (with us knowing about it, of course).

later
Tom

[nchanter.livejournal.com]

You know, maybe i'm still a bit christian, and well, there is an episode of sex and the city about this, but i don't think it's that unreasonable. say "sure, you'll pay for all the baptismal bullshit, and oh yea, they are never walking into a church at any other points in their lives, but sure mom, you can have them baptized."

I dunno, i compromise alot when it comes to my family. not so much with my mom, but with the rest of them. am i the only one who doesn't think this is completely unreasonable. i mean really, she's just concerned about their immortal souls. it's kinda sweet.

-me

[bonisagus.livejournal.com]

You know if I had a vulva it would now hurt in sympathy..

[mikecap.livejournal.com]

You could always tell her that if she does baptize the baby, you will un-baptize it! And that the unbaptism rituals are much more exciting than the baptism ones.

Way to start a family conflict there! :D

Reverend Ives to the rescue!

[brainiac69.livejournal.com]

if you need me to perform some religious hooey ceremony you just lemme know. I got your back, man.

I performed the marriage rites for some friends of mine a few months ago and that went fine...a baptism can't be any harder.

[asciikitty.livejournal.com]

hey Tom, I think Mikey should be there when my parents meet your parents!

[woodwardiocom.livejournal.com]

Women can't be ministers! It's in the bible!

-Well, if I pull in every favor my mother owes me, and play a few guilt cards, I might be able to get you a gay bishop instead.

[bluegargantua]

Hmmm...well, possibly, in the midst of a debate, he does tend to become the lightning rod.

Tom

[asciikitty.livejournal.com]

that would be GREAT...

er... sorry mikey, you're going to have to be sacraficed to the gods of family harmony...

[asciikitty.livejournal.com]

oh, would you?

that would so make everything perfect...

heh

[woodwardiocom.livejournal.com]

that would so make everything perfect...

-I live to serve (and stir up doctrinal dispute).

Re: Reverend Ives to the rescue!

[twwombat.livejournal.com]

Why can I hear you performing Marriage in 6 seconds:

"Do You?"
"Yep."
"Do You?"
"Sure."
"You is. Make out. We done."