My mom thinks that all gays and lesbians secretly signal their gayness to each other through some very cryptic visual cue. She'll ask me "What does it mean when a man wears a braid over his left shoulder?" or "What does it mean when a man wears a silver bracelet?" What she wants me to say is "GAY," and when I don't, she'll say "It means they're gay, don't be so blind."

Some Christmas or other I should explain the hanky code to her. :-)

Also, ALL women over 6 feet tall are "drag queens" as far as she's concerned, no exceptions. I spent my brother's wedding trying to assure her that our cousin's drop-dead gorgeous 6'2" fiance was in fact female (and has since had a baby).