Assuming a serious question (the "heh" makes me wonder just a bit: The canonical 2nd mouse button on all versions of OS X is to hold the Ctrl key when clicking. Tiger (OS X 10.4) has an option to use two fingers on the trackpad as the same kind of "shift". You can find that on the Apple Menu -> System Preferences -> Keyboard & Mouse -> Trackpad. Like sben noted, there are several other two-finger options there.
I'm afraid that using a Mac will not make you as pretty as the "geniuses".
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The canonical 2nd mouse button on all versions of OS X is to hold the Ctrl key when clicking.
Tiger (OS X 10.4) has an option to use two fingers on the trackpad as the same kind of "shift". You can find that on the Apple Menu -> System Preferences -> Keyboard & Mouse -> Trackpad. Like sben noted, there are several other two-finger options there.
I'm afraid that using a Mac will not make you as pretty as the "geniuses".