Lies in Advertising

The following is a dirty, dirty lie

( ...and also an ad, so let's not spam... )

For the record, I am more than capable of handling the "moves", but if Magic were a woman, she'd be a psycho bitch. They're very appealing for some reason, but I'm pretty sure that whatever benefits you draw from the relationship pale in comparison to the frustrations.

I got yer white manna right here...IN MY PANTS!
Tom

Lies in Advertising

The following is a dirty, dirty lie

( ...and also an ad, so let's not spam... )

For the record, I am more than capable of handling the "moves", but if Magic were a woman, she'd be a psycho bitch. They're very appealing for some reason, but I'm pretty sure that whatever benefits you draw from the relationship pale in comparison to the frustrations.

I got yer white manna right here...IN MY PANTS!
Tom

Living in Mayberry

Hi,

So, today the house phone rings. We have a land line for...some reason. But we do. It's for emergencies and we never get any calls on it except from telemarketers (who quickly hang up when I mention I'm on the do-not-call list) and automated messages from the town.

The town likes to call up its citizens and let them know when street repairs will be going on, when the flu clinics are taking place, etc. This morning I got one of the longest, and most interesting calls I think I've ever received from an automatic phone call.

It was the chief of police and he had a little story. Seems like there's this family in town, the Smiths we'll call them. Last year, Mr. Smith was in a terrible accident and although he survived, he is now confined to a wheelchair. The problem is that Mr. Smith's house has no capacity for wheelchair-bound people and he hasn't been able to live with his family for months now.

So he did what every red-blooded American would do in such a situation and applied to be on ABC's Extreme Makeovers to try and get his house renovated and be on TV.

Well, with a story like his, and the support of local townspeople, he was a can't-miss shoe-in and this morning the ABC crew arrived to surprise him and let him know he was selected and that they'd be doing his house.

The chief of police related this little narrative to me for two reasons: 1.) a couple of streets will be blocked off while they're filming the renovations 2.) on the 29th, the last day of the makeover, when the Smith's return to their new home, the city of Maynard is basically having a pep rally for them and we're invited.

I hope the snowstorm doesn't disrupt their plans too badly.

I live in a weird town...
Tom

Living in Mayberry

Hi,

So, today the house phone rings. We have a land line for...some reason. But we do. It's for emergencies and we never get any calls on it except from telemarketers (who quickly hang up when I mention I'm on the do-not-call list) and automated messages from the town.

The town likes to call up its citizens and let them know when street repairs will be going on, when the flu clinics are taking place, etc. This morning I got one of the longest, and most interesting calls I think I've ever received from an automatic phone call.

It was the chief of police and he had a little story. Seems like there's this family in town, the Smiths we'll call them. Last year, Mr. Smith was in a terrible accident and although he survived, he is now confined to a wheelchair. The problem is that Mr. Smith's house has no capacity for wheelchair-bound people and he hasn't been able to live with his family for months now.

So he did what every red-blooded American would do in such a situation and applied to be on ABC's Extreme Makeovers to try and get his house renovated and be on TV.

Well, with a story like his, and the support of local townspeople, he was a can't-miss shoe-in and this morning the ABC crew arrived to surprise him and let him know he was selected and that they'd be doing his house.

The chief of police related this little narrative to me for two reasons: 1.) a couple of streets will be blocked off while they're filming the renovations 2.) on the 29th, the last day of the makeover, when the Smith's return to their new home, the city of Maynard is basically having a pep rally for them and we're invited.

I hope the snowstorm doesn't disrupt their plans too badly.

I live in a weird town...
Tom